That's what she said...

It was kind of a bittersweet moment when 75% of the campers left on Sunday morning because some of them I actually liked. Others, however, I was very glad to see them go. You wouldn’t believe how attached these kids get to you. It’s kind of like stepping in dog poo and having the smell linger for days…even after you’ve cleaned your shoes. It’s just annoying after awhile.

So from now until Friday (which is my last day…Woo hoo!), there is pretty much a 1:1 ratio of campers to staff. This is pretty much easy street. No more scrounging around tables for seconds on crappy food, no more early wake-ups, and no more of that girl that would nag me every 5 minutes with stupid knock, knock jokes. This is truly the life. We have consolidated the cabins from 8 down to 4. It’s cool because a lot of the younger kids who didn’t have me as a counselor before really like having me as one now and it’s easier to get them to do what they’re supposed to be doing.

My friend and I have started this points game for the kids and have pretty much been assigning random amounts of points over the course of the day so hopefully one can be crowned “camper of the session”. Essentially, this is a bogus competition to get the campers excited about stuff and it’s great to see them fight over nothing. It’s awesome.

I kind of regret not updating more often because there are so many funny things that happen during the day that I sometimes (almost all the time) forget.

Tonight is my second night off. After seeing Batman and getting sushi, I really don’t know how I could top that. Here’s what the plan is so far: Get sushi, go bowling, and last but not least, get two UN-KOSHER cheeseburgers and savor every bite. Having kosher meals every day for 2 weeks straight makes you appreciate artery-clogging cholesterol filled fast food or just cheeseburgers for that matter.

Here are some pictures that I have taken…enjoy!

Rated NCA: Not Camp Appropriate...maybe?

After an entire week of working I finally got a day off Sunday night. Having 7 hours to yourself after being with 4th to 8th graders 24/7 is AMAZING! On the other hand, our night off was spent in the butthole of SoCal known as Redlands. Well, it wasn’t all that bad. We went to some hole in the wall sushi place which was so tasty after having “kosher”-this and soy-that (It was just revealed to me that the chicken nuggets were in fact MADE OUT OF SOY…WTF?!?) Anyway, after shopping for some snack food essentials in Target, we waited in line to see the epic premiere of the Dark Night, the new batman flick starring Cristian Bale and the late Heath Ledger. THAT MOVIE WAS FUCKING AWESOME! If you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you save up and see it (or be like Adam’s dad and use a coupon on top of the AARP card discount—love ya pops).

After getting back WAYYYY past curfew around 2am I was just about to fall asleep in my cabin when I heard a light scratching noise near my bed. I figured out the noise was coming out of my bag and I poked it with my cell phone and it stopped. I knew it was something, so just as I shined my cell phone light on my backpack—all of a sudden a small mouse pops out of my bag and leaps away. I was scared shitless (no lie—you would flip out too if you found a mouse in your bag). I guess it was karma because 2 nights before my campers woke me up at 4am to tell me this and I quote:

Camper: “Adam, I think there’s something in my bag.”
Me: “What do you think it is?”
Camper: “Well, we think it’s either a mouse…or a snake.”
Me: “…just go back to sleep.”

The next morning we found some kid’s bag chewed through and PB&J sando annihilated. I told them in the morning that I would have gone into “counselor mode” and saved the day, but thought to myself that it would be too much work and more importantly, I was REALLY comfortable.

Other than those two crazy instances, all is well here. Only a week and a half left! I will try to upload some pics ASAP so you can see what I’ve been up to.

"That's funny, she doesn't look Drewish."
-Spaceballs

The Jonas Brothers can eat me

Screw the Jonas Brothers because every fucking camper listens to them. Glad I got that out of my system. On to the good stuff...

Hey all!

I know this has been long overdue but my campers have been keeping me and my co-counselor busy with plenty to do these past few days.

Food is good, but mildly annoying getting it. If any of you have actually seen the movie “Wet Hot American Summer”, the cook is exactly like the guy in the movie—except it’s a chick.

We sing WAY too many songs than we know what’s good for us. For example, we sing 4 songs in the morning, 8 songs after dinner, 3-12 cheers during the day, and one before and after every meal! I don’t really mind it because I have learned to have fun with it and it makes sense because even my “too-cool-for-school” campers enjoy it as well. On average, I probably end up singing like 24 songs a day (but who’s counting, right?)

Our campers are 7th and 8th grade boys in our cabin and like to do mad libs in their free time. Here is a sample: “The stupid nurse sluttily walked to the shitty store to find some fucking flour…penis.” Now, any normal person would say that the mad lib just created was in bad taste and immature. However, to the simple-minded camper, this is hands-down the funnies thing they have ever heard. My co-counselor Kevin and I don’t really get it, but we let them do it because it keeps them busy from bothering us.

The best thing that the staff has probably done was to make a camper/staff quote wall to document the funniest moments throughout the days and put it in the staff lounge. I want to take a piece of it with me after camp and put it up in my room. The campers really do say the darndest things—though, nearly half of the quotes come from the staff members. For example, my friend Russell has 4th graders and one of them was homesick. The camper said, “Russell, I’m homesick…everything here reminds me of home.” Russell replied, “Really? You have a rock wall at home?” The camper answered, “Yeah, I think so.” Stuff like that is what makes this job hilarious and shenanigans.

Gotta go…break time is almost over.

If you want to send me packages/letters/whatever here’s my address

USPS/letters and packages:
Camp Yofi
PO BOX 277
Angelus Oaks, CA 92305

UPS/FedEx:
Camp Yofi c/o Camp Edwards
42842 Jenks Lake Road East
Angelus Oaks, CA 92305

They're putting me in charge? Sweet.

So upon departure for camp promptly at 9am ( not at 11ish Jewish Standard Time like some of you suspect), I have been contemplating my power and scope of leadership as a camp counselor for the next three weeks. I will be the senior counselor paired up with a junior counselor in charge of around 8-10 kids in our cabin.

I have equipped myself with what I believe is the right amount of everything: CLothing, more clothing, shoes, deoderant, a leash (no no just kidding- i think I would get fired for that one), bedding stuff, ipod, and phone charger, etc....BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I am bringing along a favorite childhood toy of mine from when I was a kid...I am bringing my Power ranger megazord tigerzord beast thingy. I have had this thing forever just sitting in a drawer but thought I could put to good use. Theoretically, this will protect our cabin not only from negative energy but also cooties.

In other news, I forgot if I had already mentioned this in my last entry yesterday (It has been 2 very long days of training, forgive me), but now, if you are unconscious or can't breathe for some reason feel free to give me a call and I can save your life because I am CPR certified. That's right, the guy who probably played your favorite song at a Cal Poly men's soccer game can ALSO NOW save your life! What a deal!

Well kids, I'm going to sleep because I have an early/big day tomorrow and need to conserve and hibernate my energy and go to sleep.

Don't Worry, the fun doesn't have to stop here because I will try to update as often as possible from the camp computers AND there are archived entries from weeks past you can see and catch up on to get the full scoop to what I've been up to these [ast few weeks.

This new section at the end of my blog entries will be the official fan shoutout spot. Anyone who calls/texts/emails/comments on an entry will get their very own PERSONALIZED shout out on the blogosphere to show my appreciation!

-Niharika= you're so cool, thanks for reading. I am glad to know that I am slightly more interesting than your line of work and your select group of friends that actually keep blogs other than mine. The two minutes reading this crap means the world to me!

-Colleen- what can i say? I'll try to think of some sweet ghost stories to tell the campers. hehe!

Good night and good luck! see you all soon!

Long time no see

So I know its been a while since my last update but here we go.

After this second day of training at the JCC in Irvine, I am leaving for Camp Yofi tomorrow morning. This camp is one of the many oh so popular Jew camps in the country. If you ask any REAL Jew you know and ask them if they have been to Jew camp you can bet your hebrew national hot dog they did. Going to camp was probably one of the most fun things to do as a kid and I am really glad I finally have the opportunity to go back and be a counselor. IF you are having trouble relating to my experience of going to a sleepaway camp, I suggest you rent Ben Agron's favorite movie of all time starring his favorite actor of all time "Wet Hot American Summer". This is an amazing film starring Jenine Gerafalo, Paul Rudd, Michael Showalter (Ben's school girl crush), and that guy Niles from Frasier! It's probably one of the funniest movies I have ever seen so see it and tell me what you think!

I will try to update as often as possible while at camp since I will have access to a computer occasionally.

Did you all call your grandmas? Good. Now it won't even have to be your birthday to receive that $12 check from grandma any more!

In other news, I , Adam Rouman, just finished the cinematic gaming experience of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. I know that out of the 8 people (an increase of 50% from last week!) that probably only 1 cares, but it was just something that I would have liked to thrown out there- geeky or not.

snail mail, text messages, emails, and Care packages will be accepted while I'm away and I will get you my address as soon as I get to the camp (which is just in big bear).

Anyway, for those of you reading this on the clock...GET BACK TO WORK! aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddd break!

Back from the dead

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the 9th wonder of the world is back on the map and ready for anything!

Hey everybody, I just arrived into wonderful, beautiful, not-as-humid-as-philly California! It has been a long journey but I am finally home and glad to be back.

I know, I know what you all are thinking: "IS THIS ALL HE'S GONNA TALK ABOUT???" Well, I want to give you all cold hard facts about the most anal flight attendants ever and how this lady wanted to give ME, of all people, the responsibility of her 1st time flyer on board a packed flight to Minneapolis! This will wait until morning.

I am tired, drained , and exhausted traveling the country today, BUT!

Here is the lesson of the evening kids: Be nice to grandma.

Grandma, grandpa, godfather, godmother...hell, even Marlon fucking Brando. Be nice to them. Don't you realize you are competing with your cousin's and siblings for thier affections, money, and free stuff? more importantly, at the end of the day...their attention? You ALL KNOW that g-pa's and g-ma's play favorites and that is what i am telling you, readers. Call them. See how they're doing. Ask them how bingo/mahjong/canasta/bridge/horse races/ice fishing went the previous day. Old people love that stuff. All you have to do in return is reply "uh huh" and promise a visit with the fam in the not too distant future. In all seriousness though, after spending about a week's worth of time with my grandma and family in Philly, I have learned to appreciate everything I have in my family. Though we may not be large in size (because we're not catholic?), I found that being reunited at my cousin's wedding, we make up for it with heart. I have not seen some of my cousins in over decade! INCLUDING THE GROOM! We played catch up with hilrious stories (some including my dad working at my uncle's bong shop where crazy shit went down in the 70s and how my uncle could have played Pablo Escobar in the A&E Biography) And they also know the best pizza places in town!

You may not like to admit it and wish to be to cool for school but I am damn proud to say that: I love my grandma. (also, i love her because she doesn't give a shit about anybody on the road when she drives. It's hilarious. I feared for my life everytime she got behind the wheel)


So between now and my next post (this afternoon), give your AARP-gold member grandpappy or bingo-highlighter wielding granny a call just because...and I promise it will be more rewarding than you think.

Here's to Tomorrow!

Naked Hot college girls XXX

Welcome to another edition of your favorite time killing device known as: my blog. I realize many of you are experiencing this for the first time and are new to the blogosphere (Ryan Casey…you are my idol for life. Please, let’s keep it that way). There are many things you need to know about the blogger community and my writing style before you take a step into this steaming pile right here. Having a catchy title like the one above gets more hits than one without. That was step 0. On to step 1:

First: Only write a blog If you have something to say.

Talking about how much you like dogs or talking about your cat like it is a person ARE TWO UNACCEPTABLE BLOG TOPICS. People only deserve the chance to write about interesting stuff AND something they are passionate about. Also, you should not waste people’s time with pointless garbage they can hear on KIIS FM or radio Disney. I love Hannah Montana just as much as the next 12 year old girl, but the goal of my blog is to achieve internal bliss knowing that I have adequately proclaimed my love/hatred/indifference for a particular something or other and changed YOUR life, the reader, for the better.

Second: Know your blog etiquette.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury…this IS NOT myspace (or facebook for that matter). It is the blog. You can’t TYPE IN ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME LIKE THIS BECAUSE IT IS ANNOYING. Nor can you expect me to understand writing ThAT LoooooooooKSSSSS LiKE ThIs xoxo. My blog is whatever I am thinking and is all-knowing. It will give you an insider’s view as to what I am doing as to the date of my entry. And sometimes, I tend to rant. I do that from time to time if you haven’t noticed.

Third: For my sake, please comment every once in a while.

The comments are the only way for me to measure whether people are reading or not. Though I would like to think that everyone and their mom is paying attention to everything that I am saying…this is a very high expectation and is, well, highly unlikely. You and I both know we are probably the only people reading this right now so send me a text or something if you see something that bothers you or excites you (*wink*) and I may give you a shout out (i.e- B Wert, Heimy, Colleen, Heather, Ryan, Dad). It can be very rewarding and sometimes…kinda creepy. But whatever. It’s my blog. Think the movie Being John Malcovich meets Charlie Bartlett meets another pretty sweet movie you’ve seen recently where the main character is a badasss (yes, with 3 s’s).

With that said…on to the blog!

I am currently in Philadelphia watching movies and passing the time until my cousin’s wedding on Sunday. It was nice to finally have a day off after working 12-14 hour days in Wyoming and it is refreshing to see my family again (especially my grandma and an aunt that I have).

The only downside is that my grandma, though she has a brand new Samsung 32” TV and HD cable teleivision, does not have internet. We asked her why she doesn’t have it yet and she defended herself as any Jewish grandmother would by dodging the question and replying (I shit you not and I quote): “AAAADDDDAAAAMMM, are you hungry? Of course, you are. Let me fix you a sandwich hun. You like turkey?” I always loved the full service of Grandma Rouman’s duplex diner every time I came here. In the meantime, we are stealing someone else’s weak signal and surviving with very limited internet. Thank you old creepy guy across the street with the telescope for turning on your unprotected router so I can check my bumper sticker notifications on facebook and updated this oh so compelling piece of literature.

Not to be too long-winded, but I would just like to let you all know that my grandma lives around the corner from probably the best pizza place I have ever been to besides chuck e cheese circa my10th bday party. It is called New England Pizza and not only did we have their pizza but I have reached philly bliss when I attacked my philly steak sandwich. Pictures can be found via my facebook mobile downloads but it does not give it justice whatsoever.

Here’s to another day alive on the internet. Hope you enjoyed this latest entry of your favorite chicken soup for the college insomniac/alcoholic/bored-at-work soul.

Respek.